My first DNF...

Looking back on the race and talking to my Mom who crewed me the entire time she said "I have never seen you so agitated in the lead up to a race". In all honesty as I think back I am surprised I made it to 110kms and probably should have called it earlier. One of my biggest fears, having never DNF'd before, was that I would regret it immediately once I had dropped. Almost a year later though, it has been the opposite.

If you had asked me beforehand what would have caused me to not make the finish line that day the list would have been long. Not wanting to push on would not have been on the list.

Pride? Ego? Measuring self-worth? There is an interesting discussion to be had about the reasons why we continue to push ourselves, often beyond when the smart decision would have been to stop. Even more so when the reasons are mental as it is a lot easier to justify a physical reason to call it a day.

Getting back to what I love...

I had to take a long hard look at my running after that race and I really questioned what I was doing it for. I ended up having a long break from any major running in the first 3 months of the year. I purposefully didn't sign up to any big races and made the decision to only run in things that sounded super fun.

After a while the flow started to come back and running became fun again. I did a Barkley style event run by a local run club that was an absolute blast and was surprised how enjoyable the 7 hours on feet was.

The decision to go back...

I sat with the decision to sign back up for the same miler 12 months later for a long time. One of the things I promised myself was that if I did go back, it wasnt going to be for "redemption" or to prove a point to myself. If I was going back it was because I love running in that part of the world and the idea of racing that distance in that event sounded like something I would enjoy.

As I started to ramp my training back up, and found the stoke levels stayed high and my body was feeling strong I felt it was right to go back. So I put my name down and wrote down a training plan for the lead up to the race.

Things would be different...

My approach the year before clearly didn't work so it was time to change things up. I based my training around a few key principles.

1. No super hard efforts or super tough races in the lead up - only things I would sign up to race regardless of having the miler ahead

2. Consistent training weeks and mileage with a focus on strength and staying healthy

3. Get the team involved - I booked my family in early to come crew/pace/train so I would be surrounded by the people I loved.

4. Above all else - keep the stoke levels high!

As I enter race week I can say this is the best and most confident I had ever felt going into a race. I stuck to everything I said above.

A perfect example of this was forgoing what normally would have been my biggest training weekend to fly to NZ and crew Mat for a backyard ultra. I ran zero kms that weekend but seeing so many amazing performances and being a part of the community at that race did far more for my race mindset then a few big days on my legs was going to do.

Yes, I could have probably done with a few bigger mileage weeks and a few more longer days in the mountains. One week out I feel the fittest, freshest and strongest I have ever felt. On top of that, I am genuinely excited to get out there and have a great day on the mountains.

I know 100 miles is never going to be easy. I also know that I can do hard things... and some days I cant. And that's ok as well.

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I had never DNF'd a race.... Until I Did! (part 1 of 3)

I thought I was made of something different and had the mental toughness to push myself mentally to any finish line. I was wrong...

I had never DNF'd a race.... Until I Did! (part 2 of 3)

The months leading up to the race did not go to plan.

I had never DNF'd a race... Until I did!! (Part 4 - the final)

Back on the start line... 12 months later!